People thinks I’m a jerk. They are probably right. I don’t want to seem nice for the most of the people. I’m enjoying to annoy them. It is fun, to make people angry, by outsmarting them, I’m not talking about being rude, or curse them out, just to say things that are not bad things, just hurts the ones, you say to. Like It wouldn’t do anything if I would say it to somebody else, but it does to that one, to find the week spot on them, and to make them angry, and make them said. It can be a lot of fun, and so much easier, then be nice.
Although, sometimes, it is necessary to be nice to some people. Like the girl I talked about. She thinks I’m nice, and there are a few other girls, who think I’m nice. I’m glad I still have the ability to make people believe that I’m nice. Sometimes I don’t know which one is the true me. I think the things you do more often are the ones that describes you. That means I’m not nice. But also, there are people, who does a lot of things a lot of times, but do one big thing, and that’s become the one that makes people to form an opinion of him.
Tonight, I’m in a camp. It is a camp that I have to do for the university. Practice. There a few other people here. One of them I conceder as my friend the rest are just colleges. They don’t really like me. If I am around, they want me to be somewhere else. But tonight they had a cooking, and now they are playing some game together. I didn’t feel like to participate to any of that. Already like five times, I got asked, what is wrong, why I’m not there. So what is this now? They don’t like but if I’m not there they are worried about me? I think they also just like to hate me. I give them somebody to blame, to be mad at all the time, this gives them a punch bag, they can ease there anger on me, so they can be nicer with others. I think, to be a jerk with somebody, or with a lot of body, to be the bad guy in the community is not only fun sometimes, but also necessary. Like in war: “A common enemy brings the arguing parties together.”
Sometimes it is a little bit said to be left out of some things because of this, but I other times, I just love to laugh in some bodies face, even if I also feel like crying about the thing that happened, or caused by me. Sometimes it is also good, when somebody that a little bit likes me more, invites me to somewhere I were left out, or just ask me how I feel about it.
All in all, being the bad guy, has it ups and downs. But just like being nice, it is needed by some.
